Today should have been a celebration -- I am 99.9% of the way done with the work project that has consumed so much of my energy and brain for the last few months. But it was more like waking up from an obsessed dream and discovering that the laundry was piled high, the dishes filled the sink, the dust bunnies had become more like dust wolves, and things were in a general state of chaos. I didn't feel happy, I felt overwhelmed.
I watched the dog rolling in the grass and tried to remind myself that life is about the small pleasures. Then, when I put my head back down to the computer, she went and rolled in the wet sandy dirt. Her white coat turned gray and black, and I had to laugh. I swear she smiled at me. There's meaning there somewhere -- be happy with the dirt, too? But I'm not sure what it was except that in that moment, we both felt happy despite the messy house and work to do.
I'm going to aspire to a better balance as my life changes. A little house effort every day to avoid the misery of chaos. Tomorrow I think I'll try to balance studying for summer midterms with cleaning the house. A little of each, and a little writing. Could be a good day!