Surprise and earnest observations

I am completely surprised to discover that a retainer hurts. I actually want to put a word that starts with f before hurts in that sentence, but I pretty much stopped using that word when I became a mom, and now that I'm a mom of a teenager (!)(a giant teenager--5'9" yesterday!!) I really can't use it. But wow, the retainer f'in hurts. Hey, but my teeth look great so I should not complain. (And yes, that is ironic: I would rather live without pain and be ugly than be pretty and hurting, even if that makes me unAmerican.)

And while I complain--since I really am complaining--why does the internet have to be so bloody earnest? I am really, really, really tired of sites that want to help me be happier or help me market myself better or help me...anything. I want to be reading a few more selfish, totally self-obsessed, and yet completely entertaining sites. And possibly this is just bad RSS work on my part, but wow, my feed just bored me silly today. Where have all the fun people gone? Not the nice fun people, but the fascinatingly bad fun people? I don't like reality television much, but I think maybe I used to get my dose of reality tv through blog-reading and somehow I can't find those people anymore. All the people I read now are distressingly...earnest. No offense to anyone I read, and hey, if you keep chickens, all is forgiven. I can read many an earnest post if there are chickens and/or goats involved. (Ooh, and/or teen lit. I am waiting on tenterhooks--and what would those be, I wonder? wikipedia, here I come--for the sequel to The Hunger Games. One month to go!)