Angel Puppy

I hope that Jack Johnson won't think this is copyright infringement. I definitely had no evil intent but every time I hear that song, it makes me think of this angel. Until I get to the last line about sharing souls, that is, and then I just think, no, how weird would that be, to share souls with my dog. Not that hers isn't a perfect soul, but if we shared it there would be too much thinking about squirrels and basketballs and naps.

It's black or white

I just realized--belatedly, I'm sure--that one of the reasons I'm having a complete nervous breakdown/midlife crisis is my sense that switching careers is an entirely global switch. In other words, if I follow this deviant path I'm on, trailing me off into an entirely new direction, everything from my past path is lost. So of course that's insanely anxiety-provoking. It's scary to give up everything. But also, it's probably impossible. And/or there's no reason to do so. At least not dramatically. I can make a much slower move, gently exploring a new career direction without letting go of everything I know from the old. Specifically, I guess, hanging on to the friends and the memories. If I become a counselor, it doesn't mean I can never go camping again. This, despite the fact that I haven't gone camping in years.

Laziness personified

My phone ran out of power so I looked for the charger. Ten minutes and all obvious places later, I realized that I had never unpacked from my trip to California ten days ago. Oops.

Bigger oops, this led to the realization that I haven't brushed my hair in ten days. Yeah. I really don't think anyone would notice--the joys of straight hair--but still, I can't help being a teeny bit impressed with my own sloth.

In further laziness news, I can only find my way back to my own blog via Google reader. It's like not being able to remember my own name. Well, or maybe not being able to remember my own phone number, which I admit sometimes happens.

If there's an easy path...

...it's the one I don't take. Seriously, why must I make life so hard? Back to the education thing. I can't stand having a kid in high school. The drive to get the A in order to get into college in order to have a nice middle class life violates everything I want to believe about what is valuable in the world, and yet is still probably fundamentally a truth. It just makes me want to quit everything. It's not that I think being mediocre is good. But living for the number that someone else assigns to your work curdles my soul. High school is heartbreaking, even once removed.